We all have an insecurity or two rattling around in our minds. For some of us, these are issues we don’t think much about. Perhaps you don’t like the shape of your nose or the sound of your voice. But, unless you’re confronted by these things, you’re able to ignore them. Or, perhaps you hate your forehead so much that you can’t even look in the mirror.
Insecurities like these can ruin various aspects of our lives. They can trash our belief in ourselves and in others. Left to run riot, they can even ruin our romantic relationships. The trouble being, of course, that we often unload our insecure baggage onto those closest to us. To a certain extent, any partner should understand and comfort you when you’re doubting. But, even the most understanding relationships can run into rocky waters when certain insecurities rear their heads. If you let these critters into your love life, they’ll soon become the third wheel which puts you off-balance. To help you avoid them, we’re going to look at the insecurities you should never let in.
To a certain extent, we all have body issues. It’s unsurprising when you consider that we live in a world where liking how you look is seen as arrogance. Instead, we’re supposed to pick ourselves apart until we’re bleeding. It doesn’t matter what part of yourself you don’t like; society just dictates that it has to be something.
Yet, body issues can become damaging in a relationship if you let them get in the way of intimacy. Perhaps you make your partner turn off the light before you get naked in front of them. Or, maybe you insist on wearing heavy layers of makeup around them because you wake up thinking ‘Why is my face so dry?’ each morning. You may even insist on wearing your makeup to bed and exacerbating the issue. While reasonably common worries, these problems, and others, can cause real barriers to intimacy. Your partner may start to feel that you don’t trust them to see the actual you. Of course, it isn’t always easy to overcome insecurity like this because they’re so ingrained. But, try talking things through with your partner. Together, you may be able to work past the issue.
Of course, we couldn’t talk relationships and insecurity without mentioning jealousy. This is the most regular killer of relationship potential, but again, it’s an insecurity many of us face. It may be that you’ve been cheated on before, or that your lack of self-worth is causing you to doubt the other person. Either way, this insecurity can have dire consequences. If you aren’t careful, you’ll push your partner away by trying to hold them too tight. Love will suffocate if you don’t give it breathing space.
If you feel yourself falling into the jealousy trap, take a step backwards. Consider the situation in a pragmatic way, and take yourself out of the equation. Think about whether your partner has done anything to make you doubt them. If yes, you should talk to them about it. If no, accept that the insecurity is yours and that you need to overcome it if you want to keep your love on the right track. Whatever you do, don’t suffocate the relationship. There’s no coming back if you get to a place where you can’t accept them going out without you.
Lack of self-confidence
Last, but by no means least; be careful regarding any lack of self-confidence. Feeling uncertain in social situations is relatively normal. More people than you realize probably feel the same. But, never let this lack of confidence into your relationship. Sure, you may want to grip your man’s arm and make him do all the talking. But, leaning on someone as an emotional crutch like this isn’t healthy. It puts a strain on your relationship, and it shows you in an unflattering light. It’s hardly what romantic dreams are made of.
Instead, you need to find ways to feel better about yourself when those moments of self-doubt come along. Develop coping mechanisms, like breathing exercises, which help you face your fears. Practice putting yourself out there, even when your partner isn’t there. And, realize that, just because they’re there to support you, doesn’t mean you can stop putting in the effort. You’ll harm your relationship, and yourself, by doing this. After all, if you come to rely on them for everything, how will you cope when they aren’t around?